Missing Barbara

Today is the 18th anniversary of Barbara's death.  Daniel, Cathy and I went to her grave and spent a half hour there until our toes were numb.  We shared some memories and reflections on her life.  I shared how difficult it had been for me after she died, trying to be a single parent.  I prayed for my kids and expressed my gratitude for having known Barbara.  Cathy placed some roses on the grave.
I would say this was one of the 'best' times at her grave I've experienced in quite a few years.

I am not sure why, but I have been missing Barbara a lot these last two weeks.  Things are going wonderfully well in my new marriage with Tina so that is not the source of my strong feelings.  I really don't know why.

Last night I attended the wake for Jim Bittner, whose daughter Joan lived with Barbara and me for 8 years in our community household.   This morning I attended his funeral where Joan did one of the readings.  I was teary most of the way through and saw such dramatic sadness on the faces of Jim's children.  They are a family of faith so they will come through this tragedy eventually to a place where the grief is not a sharp, daily pain, especially as they recall Jim's smiling exuberance for Jesus.

Tonight is a wake for another Jim, Jim Hepp and tomorrow morning his funeral.  It is a grief packed 3 days.